Facing the Storm

While in conversation this week with my husband, just catching up from all the “stuff” going on, I noticed there’s so many life changing and significant things happening in our country right now. The obvious ones are the hurricanes (Harvey & Irma), but there’s also massive wildfires in several states, a huge earthquake in Mexico, I could keep going but you guys get the picture. We’ve got political junk going on, news media lying left and right, confused people causing and participating in riots….just lots of madness seems to be everywhere. There just seems to be this heavy fog or burden weighing us all down and that in itself can be exhausting.
However, the reaction of many great Americans last week in Texas was phenomenal, absolutely restored my faith in the people of this amazing country. People from all over the country sacrificing their time, money, resources and safety to rescue complete strangers is what makes me proud to be an American. After watching all these people pulling boat after boat to go save some people they don’t even know, I was ready to go borrow a boat and go down there myself!! All of it is so inspiring.

Just yesterday my husband was telling me about this neat meme he saw. F.E.A.R.- Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise……….did you goose bumps like I did? Now, don’t get me wrong there’s a time and a place for both of those. Most people should be forgetting everything and running from these hurricanes, but without those who rise and face it, so many more people, families and animals wouldn’t be alive today. With all the junk going on like I mentioned above, to still know there are good, noble, brave people out there makes me feel like it’s not as bad as it seems. We all have some good in us and it’s times like these that it shows.

This F.E.A.R acronym can apply to so many different situations and to all people. It could be a serious illness that you’re facing, or a failing marriage, maybe it’s severe depression, or just the stress of life. We all have to decide whether to forget and run or face it and rise. I hope I can always face it and rise when it’s necessary. Well, except for those times when we do need to run, like these hurricanes for instance.

I know this is a overly simplistic view, but it really struck a chord with me and I hope it does with you too. Be careful out there folks!

Waiting in the Dark

I wrote the following little nugget as a Facebook post on my personal page the other day.  Sometimes at night, I get these little revelations and tidbits from God and I just pop them up on my profile to share with my friends.  I decided I wanted to share this with my Nitty-Gritty readers, because several of my friends were blessed by it and shared it.  The purpose of Nitty-Gritty is to encourage other women in their journeys through life, so I thought this would be a perfect thing to share.

Imagine you’re standing in a dark hallway in front of a shut door and you’re knocking on the door…over and over you’re knocking…and it just never opens up. The hallway is so dark you can’t see your own hands in front of you, so you’re too scared to move from in front of that shut door that simply won’t open. You even try the knob and push against the door to see if it’s been left somewhat ajar, but it’s locked and won’t budge. You’re just stuck out in this black corridor…waiting. Then, waaaaay down at the other end of the hall, you see a sliver of light growing bigger and brighter. There’s a door down there…and it’s open wide! But…it’s unfamiliar…and it’s not the door you wanted to enter…it’s not the path you wanted to take. You have a choice, keep knocking in darkness, or start walking toward the light.

Sometimes you have to walk through doors that you never intended to open. Sometimes it’s intimidating, and not at all what you’d imagined. But that’s how God works. When He opens a door, He doesn’t leave it cracked…He swings it open wide…so that there is no mistaking that this is His way! What we have to then do, is remember to always follow His light…to just keep walking toward it. I can promise you this, He has never led me astray, not one time. Sometimes His way is harder. Sometimes His way requires that we give up what we desire. But we have to trust Him. Don’t stand in the dark, so focused on a shut and locked door that you miss out on the beauty that’s found in His presence…down His path. He is calling you today, out of the darkness, and into His marvelous light. Don’t miss out.

We all have those times of darkness that we go through in our lives.  We get stuck in the dark because we are so fixated on what we have created in our minds as the ideal.  We stand at the door of our hearts’ desires and we wait because we feel like that’s what we are supposed to do…wait.  Well, part of that is true.  The Bible tells us, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”  (Matthew 7:7-8, NIV)  

So yes, ask and seek.  Don’t give up on your dreams.  Keep knocking on doors, but keep your eyes peeled to what’s around you.  Have you ever been in a dark room?  At first you have to let your eyes adjust to it, but after a few minutes, you get used to it.  Just because you’re in the dark, doesn’t mean you’re blind.  You just have to be more alert and more aware.  It won’t be dark forever, and when you have that realization with you at all times, knowing that any moment a door will swing open and you won’t be in the dark any longer, well that is HOPE.  Hang onto that, and have faith in God’s promise to you.  Be willing to go when you have opportunities…even when they aren’t what you expected or even what you requested and hoped for…because that’s how God is…He is unconventional, creative, and He reaches out to us in ways that sometimes catch us off guard.  Remember, everything that we walk through, every dark hallway, is a part of something much greater than what we can see in the moment, but one day you will look back and know it was a necessary darkness…and you were simply waiting it out.  

The Night Shift Family – Let’s Talk About That

So, I know this is sort of a different subject to focus on but, nonetheless, it’s something I feel the need to share about, to help others better understand the lives of a night shift family. I’m going to attempt to compare below the “normal” day-to-day happenings for day shifters and then night shifters in a sort of timeline fashion. Granted, there are always things that pop up and our schedules always get changed, but from my own life, and those of friends and family, this is a generic idea of what each shift would generally encounter through out a normal day.

Timeline for typical day shifters:

• 6:30ish– get up and get ready for work and school
• 7ish-breakfast and off to work
• 8ish– kids on the bus or take to school
• 8:30ish to 12ish-errands, grocery, play time, crafts or creative time, play dates, library, maybe the zoo (which includes picnic), really whatever needs to be done, probably coffee time, dr.appts., or maybe homeschool time if that applies.
• 12ish-lunch
• 1-2ish rest and/or nap time. Which is also rest time or catch-up time for mom
• 3ish-getting kids from school
• 4ish-getting homework going and getting things together for dinner
• 5-6ish– spouse home from work, dinner time and cleanup
• 7ish-family time or outside time, maybe a sports practice or household duty like cutting the grass, maybe an ice cream trip
• 8ish-winding down for the night and getting baths
• 9ish-bedtime for kiddos
• 9:30ish to 11:30ish-hubby and wife time (insert your own details here) lol
• 11:30ish and later-sleeping (hopefully)

 This is how a typical day runs for us:

• 7ish-getting up and ready for school and the day (all while being quiet as a mouse, dad is sleeping)
• 7:30ish-breakfast (again no dinging spoons on bowls or slamming cabinets-have to be quiet)
• 8ish-getting all the kiddos to school (unless some are too little)
• 9ish-quiet time, coloring, a cartoon or very quiet play and also getting small ones dressed for the day, oh and don’t forget coffee time! Or maybe homeschool time if that applies
• 10-11ish– real quick errands or a fast grocery trip, also could be homeschool time
• 12ish– lunch and wake spouse up
• 1ish-household stuff like cutting grass, garden, laundry and loud cleaning like vacuuming and dishes, things that are too loud in the mornings.
• 2ish-try to spend some family time, try to catch-up on schedule details and family plans since we haven’t got to speak to each other since the day before around this same time. (usually nap time for smallest)
• 3ish-start dinner and get kids from school at 3:30
• 4ish-sit down for dinner and start cleanup; spouse starts packing lunch for work and getting ready (sometimes there is sports practice and I eat later and hubby leaves before I get back)
• 5ish-spouse leaves for work; me and kids start homework
• 6ish-sports practice and/or game, finish homework
• 7ish– outside time, play time and snacks
• 8ish-start baths and house cleanup
• 9ish– getting everyone in bed. Takes 30-40 minutes for just one person, some nights longer.
• 9:45-11:30– quiet time for me..usually paying bills, maybe a Netflix show or finishing tasks around the house
• 11:30ish and later-hopefully sleeping

I know the schedules may not seem much different from one another, but this is really a day in the life of a night shift family, with each parent working separately on different ends of the clock. All the while, I juggle kids, dinner, messes, homework, sports, baths, bedtime, etc.  My poor husband is sleeping or working while all this hustle and bustle is going on, and he knows he’s missing out on some great stuff…but he does it for our family. I know some who would say, “Why go to such lengths of being quiet?” or, “Why cater to when he’s getting up?” My answer is, would you want your spouse only getting 3 or 4 hours of sleep a day? Which leads to awful health issues later like high blood pressure, diabetes, and eventually heart disease…and don’t forget…feeling like crud as well.  My job is to ensure the health and safety of my whole family and that includes my husband too.

I said all that to say, we night shifters want “play” time or “talk” time too, or would like to socialize with friends, but when we’re able to do that most of our friends are at home with their spouses having dinner and having family time of their own. If I called to talk at 7 or 8 on any given night you probably wouldn’t answer because you’re spending precious time with your family, just like I’m doing for a precious hour or so earlier during the day. And let’s not forget my school aged children only see their daddy for about an hour when they get home from school, and that time includes sitting down for dinner and my husband getting ready for work. The weekends are absolutely sacred to us.  We have just a couple days with a few hours to focus on our family and try to makeup for almost zero (whole) family time we get during the week. By God’s grace, and by keeping our family centered in Christ, we have been able to handle this way of life for 16 years now.

I’m not saying us night shifters have it harder really, but there is some extra responsibility that falls on us and that’s ok, that’s how families work…we work together. I can only imagine how a single parent feels and the lengths they go to, to try and cover the roles of both parents. So, if you’re a day shifter have a little grace for those who have to do life a little differently. Try to put yourself in their shoes and imagine how it would be. Don’t assume they’re too busy for you or have new friends…just realize they’re doing life the best they can.

“an ode to letting go”

Hi friends.  This week I’m sharing another original poem from my heart to your screen.  I hope you like it.  I hope you share it.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

“an ode to letting go”

 

Sometimes

Just no matter what

Life waltzes past

After ushering in deep sadness

The stuff that regrets and pain are made of

And it just dances right on past

To a different tune

 

And I stand here

Motionless

I can’t even breathe

 

Because sometimes

Just no matter what

Life skips on by

After stirring things up

The stuff that romance and loss are made of

And it just traipses on

Laughing at a joke I don’t quite get

 

And I lie here

Breathless

And I can’t even think

 

Because sometimes

Just no matter what

I can’t catch up

Always a step or a breath behind

I am chasing things I’ve lost

The stuff my heart can’t seem to release

And I keep grasping at air

Trying to revive what is already dead

 

And I stop here

Arrested

And I

                   can’t

                                     even